october 19

ok- on my first blog ever i said i was not tech savvy. well...i have been unable to sign in to the blog for a week or so now. thanks to don dinnerville (amazing computer/tech guy) i am back in action. so here we go...

For those of you who knew michelle parma, october 19, 2002 was the day she went home to be with the Lord. the circumstances were shocking and tragic (a car accident with her cousin) but the fact she went is divine. every year i forget the week before the anniversary of her death, but the smell of fall and the sight of pumpkins triggers the feeling of loss in my heart. i dread the day because of the sadness and so i pretend it is not here. she would expect this from me but tell me how so wrong i am (amy and becca are not surprised!!!).

from the moment i was told of her accident to even this moment i have not forgotten for one second that God is sovereign. life on earth is temporary we are all preparing for eternity. she just got there faster - must to the sadness of an extraordinary number of friends and family who knew how remarkable this woman is. she was created for purpose and she had more life and love in her pinkie than i have in my entire being.

the Lord reminds me (by hitting me on my thick skull) life is not about me and my comfort- even in tragedy. He is the God who "...has plans to give you hope and a future". i still forget that just because i don't like some of the things He does, He is always a loving Father. i don't understand and never will.

I loved Michelle like a sister and she knew me, my struggles, my strengths, and everything in between and loved me anyway.
i miss her. i miss her laugh. i miss the way she would fight for you even if you were so wrong just because she loved you. i miss the way she brought people together. i miss the way she loved the Lord. i miss the way she cared for my parents. i miss the way she would listen. i miss the way she freaked out. i miss the way she drove (well kinda). i miss the way she danced. (i hated dancing with her at clubs!) i miss the way she loved Neill and thought he hung the moon. i miss her strength. i miss her room. i miss her nasty feet. i miss her passion.

but i would never of asked for it to be any other way. thanks michelle for loving me and kyle and our children like they were yours. i would never ask for more- God knows what he is doing. thanks for the privilege of sharing 22 years of my life with such an extraordinary friend, daughter, girlfriend, and sister....

check out the non-profit her mom stared to finish serving, loving, and helping others in her daughter's name. http://www.dancetolive.org/