Thankfulness or lack of it...

Where have i been, why haven't i posted in a while?? I have been in a hole since the time changed last Sunday- i am exhausted and i have no idea why (no i am not pregnant for those of you with dirty minds...)

We have had sickness (babies and kids) that will knock you back several weeks and the general busyness that accompanies raising and feeding 4 boys. Well, I have been wondering what to write about (a little brain dead) and i always pray the Lord will encourage me to share with transparency what is going on with us so... here goes.

This month our family devos are about thankfulness and our verse is 1 Thessalonians 5:18, "give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." We have shared the cliche thankfulness statements..."our family, home, dogs, food..." But we had a family celebration (turning a sitter-less Saturday night into steaks and "family fun") and each boy got to share something their brother had done for them that they were thankful for. It amazed me how well they remember the times someone extended grace, a kind word, or encouragement.

Reed was thankful Mason threw the football with him. Garrett was thankful for our baby (surprise). But as i was thinking back on the week and sadness swept over me. True heart wrenching disappointment and just plain sorrow. The Lord has been nudging me all week to be thankful and do all things without complaining or arguing. ouch!! We are training (I mean attempting to train) our boys to run the race with greatness and i am standing at the starting line.

You know those moments when you have to wipe up Izze off the kitchen table (and it is VERY sticky) and when the baby poops AGAIN; I was not thankful. And when garrett cannot read a clock and comes down at 5:30am to tell you he is ready for breakfast or Mason is tired of Garrett copying him; i was NOT thankful. When mason has a full on asthma attack during flag football and Garrett has killed one of Shaeffer's snakes; i was not thankful. (see pic of the snake before Garrett accidently stepped on it with his cleates on) Does it really say ALL circumstances or just when the circumstances are convenient for me?

How selfish am I? The Lord shows me a million times a day His forgiveness, His mercy, His love, His sovereignty, His grace, His majesty, His wisdom....i could go on forever. And i complain about the circimstances of dirty dishes, piles or laundry, sinfulness in my family, and baby puke down my sweater sleeve. i have such a small perspective of God, i put Him in a box so that I can comprehend this world. God is bigger than world we'll leave!

I am thankful He is who He says He is, who He has given me to share my life with, who He gave me to be raised by, and where He is taking me. "I am blessed" seems such an inadequate way to describe my life. And i don't mean blessed because my life is comfortable; blessed because He is the God of second chances and has the power transform me - not just my circumstances.

Well, i guess that is why we are talking about thankfulness for a full month. Maybe his week I will get it a little more than last week.